I am beyond mad. I am furious. I don’t even know what to say, that yesterday was the height of a true screw up. I’m better than that. I KNOW I AM. That is never happening again. Not EVER AGAIN.

silver-tongue-bastard:

The first thing I registered was pain. First was the jolt of the needle, immediately accompanied by the steady throb in my side. I heard voices but I couldn’t comprehend them. Hebrew, I thought dully. They’re speaking Hebrew. That’s good. Not too cold either, so I’m…

Farewell tomorrow.
Yaaaaay. Can’t wait to get out of that shithole they call a ‘fine’ school.

“Be diplomatic nikki! There’s no need to call it as you see it all the time”

Like when he forgets to reply to your texts, when you just become another best friend in his sea of ‘best’ friends. When he can’t be bothered to remember things you tell him, because its really trivial compared to what he goes through.
Yeah. Diplomatic, that’ll help.

” you’re not really that close anymore you know. By picking fights things could just get worse”.

Worse you say? How much more worse? Instead of having one-sided conversations which he pretends to listen to, you don’t talk AT ALL?
Or those parties where you talk to everyone but each other, come to an end? When the lukewarm responses turn into bland impersonal stares?

Atleast then I won’t expect anything. Worse you say? I don’t think so

Sometimes I wonder if all this pain, all this struggle, all this effort is worth it. And if its not.. ill be left nowhere basically.

It’s such a fragile thing! When it’s not amazing you with its
brilliance, It’s exasperating you with its complexity. 

We just finished with school last year. Everyone in my batch,
has gone to separate schools and colleges. The last few days
of school were filled with tears, with promises of keeping in
touch, with countless pictures, and lots of hugs. 

Things really changed after school let out. Initially, we all
were happy whenever we bumped into each other in gal, or in
the plaza. But slowly, the smiles of recognition and warmth
began changing into forced smiles of politeness. 

I lost touch with one of my closest friends. She just changed
so much.  

The other day, I found myself browsing through her old
facebook pics, searching for the girl who used to be my
friend. 

It never ever ceases to amaze me, how a person that you are
close to at one point of time, becomes a polite stranger. The
same person who knew all your secrets, all your little quirks
can barely smile at you when they see you in the grocery
store. 

Probably the only good thing ib this, is the way my
relationship with my  remaining close friends has
changed. 

We are stronger than ever. More comfortable with each
other. 

The fact that we have managed to hold on to each other after
all this time, gives me the strength and the hope that we
will remain friends for life. 

Yup. That’s how low we have sunk *facepalm*